


5 steps to fall in love!

by nyuhub



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, I really don't know what is that though, Love, Love Confession, M/M, bbangmoonside!, changmin doesn't know what he's doing, changmin point of view, changmin says a lot of shit but not in a bad way?, jichoi, kevin is very dumb, kyunyu, nyukyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25821922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyuhub/pseuds/nyuhub
Summary: No, this isn't my love story or something like that, on the contrary, it's something very devastating that happened to my best friend, but I keep insisting, he is exaggerating. The point is that I'm at his house while he tells his plan perfect revenge."5 steps to fall in love!""Kevin... I don't think your plan will work." I had said looking at my best friend."Of course it will work! And especially because you are going to help me!""I never agreed to that...""Changmin! You owe me."I sighed defeated because he was right, I owed him, but I keep insisting, this plan will be a failure.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Ji Changmin | Q, Choi Chanhee | New/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Kim Younghoon/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

_**first step - chance meeting** _

_It's seven in the morning and I'm heading to my best friend's house, why? I don't know, he just called me saying he had good news. So now I am on my bike on my way to his humble home._

"You arrived!" _He hugged me like he hadn't seen me in years when we actually saw each other yesterday._

"You're sensitive so early, all right?" _He simply nodded and dragged me to his room. Once in it, he dragged me to his bed and placed his whiteboard in front of me with a big smile._

"What are you doing?". _He looked at me with a big smile and started writing while looking at him with curiosity and confusion._

"Do you remember Choi Chan Hee?" _He said with a clear expression of pain as I tried to remember that name._

"Yeah, the guy who rejected you in front of the whole school last year...". _Exaggerated as he is, he placed his hand on the chest feigning pain, I just rolled my eyes. "What's the matter with him?"_

"It is in our same university!." _I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, clearly you can't get that information from graduate students so easily so I sighed._

"Kevin... How did you get that information?"

"That's not the point! Pay attention to what I wrote on the board." _I rolled my eyes and directed my gaze to those words. Then I looked at him for an answer._

"What is that?". _He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, really... How can he exaggerate his expressions like that?_

"It's my plan for revenge." _I just raised an eyebrow hoping he was more specific. "f_ or Choi Chan Hee!." _I looked at him without expression, he had really lost his mind._

"Can't you just get over it?" _I said while looking at me with an expression of offense, again exaggerated sir. He turned around and began to write on the board again._

"5 steps to fall in love!"

"Kevin... I don't think your plan will work." _I had said looking at my best friend._

"Of course it will work! And especially because you are going to help me!"

"I never agreed to that..."

"Changmin! You owe me."

_I sighed defeated because he was right, I owed him, but I keep insisting, this plan will be a failure._

"Well... I suppose I could help you." _He came over to wrap me in a hug. Damn the day that Gyuri rejected me even though I didn't feel bad about being rejected, but finding out that your crush doesn't like boys is quite regrettable and it hit all my pride. It's not that I'm straight either, but I prefer girls when it comes to dating. The point is that I owed it to Kevin, even though my confession was a failure, he helped me make it work._

"I knew I could count on my best friend." _He winked at me as he went to write on the board again._

"Now what are you doing..." _He turned and looked at me with a mischievous smile as he finished writing whatever he was writing. I looked at what he wrote with a confused expression._

"First step - chance meeting." _I looked at him raising an eyebrow waiting for him to explain the meaning of those words._

"As I already mentioned, there are five steps and the first one is this. How will we carry it out?" _I was a bit surprised to hear "we'll carry", I still didn't think I was helping him in his stupid plan._ "Simple, tomorrow we start our first day of university and according to my contacts, Chanhee usually arrives early." _He couldn't believe I investigated him as a complete psychopath._ "He is also in the arts faculty which is next to mine but..."

"But?." _He looked at me with eyes like he was pleading, shit I wasn't liking the sound of this._

"That's when you come in, Min." _I looked at him confused as I got up._

"How will I do that?"

"Simple, you're going to bump into Chanhee the moment he takes out his phone or something, I don't know." _I looked at him without expression, it was really stupid all this and I was helping him._ "So, you will pushing himsomehow, his phone will fall and that's when I show up with my handsome face, do you see?, it's very easy."

"..."

"What? Do you want me to explain it again? Because I can do it, no problem."

"I think... you're really stupid, Kevin." _He looked at me with offended eyes while just laughing._

"But... you must help me! You owe me!"

"I know, I know." _I rolled my eyes as I stretched my body._ "Now give me something to eat. I came here without breakfast."

"Okay, but then I'll tell you the other steps." _I just nodded my head as we made our way to the kitchen. His plan has no chance of working but I will play along._

* * *

_I never usually arrive early, not even at school so I can't believe I had to do it just to see this guy I don't even know. I knew he was not ordinary, Choi Chan Hee, people talked about him in school so I assumed he was kinda popular. Wait... I've never seen him, how am I going to recognize him? So smart of you, Ji Changmin._

_After a few minutes I got a call from Kevin._ "Hey?"

"What are you doing? Chanhee is in front of you!" _He yelled as I pushed my phone away or he would make me deaf._

"What do you mean?". _He yelled again, telling me to look ahead. There was a pale-skinned boy with pink hair, dressed in a flowered sweater and shorts accompanied by a cute blue beret, fuck I really will not make fun of Kevin's bad tastes because the boy looked like a porcelain doll, he was really pretty... But? We did not come to observe how pretty it's, I have a silly mission to fulfill, shit I already sound like Kevin._

 _I decided to hang up the call and put on the hat so that my face is covered by it._ "Well, I just have to push it casually like I haven't seen him." _I kept repeating myself heading in his direction. I walked faster in front of him to accidentally bump into him without realizing when he turned calling someone. Fuck..._

"Younghoon !." _I felt my head spin as I kept my eyes closed feeling something soft on my lips and flavored with strawberry?_

"Chanhee! Are you okay- you! What are you doing to my friend?!." _I heard a third angry voice. Chanhee? I was supposed to push him... I did it right? Wait if I open my eyes maybe I know what's going on... fuck._

"Changmin!." _That's Kevin's voice... fuck, fuck, this shouldn't happen like that, did I just kiss him? Although his lips are soft... i had never kissed a boy, wait, wait, that's not even relevant at this time._

"Hey... you can stay away from my friend." _Oh fuck, I was still on top of him, what if I looked at him, shit no, it wasn't a good idea._

_I got up slowly as I felt like I was being pushed by someone so hard that I was falling backwards._

"Chanhee! Are you okay? Did he do something to you?" _He didn't answer, but he sat up and he was crying... damn, what did you do Ji Changmin? You should just push him, not kiss him._ "Hey bastard! What did you do to him?" _I felt like they grabbed my shirt, would this be my end?_

"Changmin!, hey let go of my friend." _It was Kevin's voice... oh no, just go you will ruin it more._

"Kevin?"

"Do you know me?" _Well, I wasn't understanding anything of what was happening but the tall boy had at least let me go._

"Kevin Moon?"

"Chanhee..." _Suddenly I felt like they forced me to lower my head. What the fuck is going on?_

"Forgive my friend! He's a bit clumsy and he probably didn't see you but it wasn't with bad intentions." _What the fuck is he saying? This wasn't even my fucking fault Moon._

"Huh... I guess it was also my fault for not being aware of my surroundings." _I raised my head out of curiosity making our eyes meet, maybe it was my imagination but I could swear that his cheeks turned a pink color. We both looked away and how not to do it, it was really embarrassing this whole fucking situation, Kevin, I'll kill you later._

Chanhee, we must go.

Oh right... bye Kevin it was good to see you again and bye... Ji Changmin?" _I looked at him confused, how does he know my name? I never said it, wait... does he know who I was? Fuck, that's more embarrassing with what just happened._

"Well... I don't know what that was but it didn't turn out too bad."

"Are you kidding me? Your stupid plan went wrong." _I said while running my hands through stressed hair._

"Well... you kissed Choi Chan Hee himself, you're lucky."

"Shut the fuck up and let's eat, because someone's fault I couldn't have breakfast again." _I told him as I dragged him to the coffeehouse. I was honestly regretting helping him._

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

_**second step - your phone** _

_I came home tired after everything that had happened that day. I kept remembering the embarrassing encounter with Chanhee._

Fuck, I don't want to go back to university! _I said while placing a pillow on my face to muffle my complaints. The scene was still in my head and shit, from the first moment Kevin came up with this stupid plan I should have refused. Yes, I owed him but I never thought things would end like this, I mean, it wasn't even part of the plan. And anyway, you accepted the second step Ji Changmin..._

**Second step - your phone!**

**Kevin... can we just cancel all of this and get on with our lives?**

**No, Changmin. This is just starting.** **_I just rolled my eyes and lay down on my friend's bed. This will be exhausting._ **

**As I said.** **_He said as he cleared his throat._ ** **Chanhee already showed interest in me that is more than clear.** **_I looked at him incredulously, clearly he had no idea what was happening, Interest in him? He was rather polite and greeted him but nothing more, sometimes Kevin could be such an idiot... like now._ **

**Whatever you say.** **_I said yawning, I wanted to go home and take a good shower to forget everything that was happening._ **

**So... we will carry out our second step.** **_He said smiling, he was really striving for this nonsense._ ** **And you will help me.** **_Here we go again, as long as I don't have to kiss everything right again, it's not that he kissed badly... I couldn't say it exactly, since we only touched our lips, but kissing a boy? It didn't feel bad... wait, is this even relevant? It's not that it's my first kiss... I remember in first year of school when I had to kiss a girl for a challenge, at that time, I realized that I liked girls but... the boys? Chanhee is one and very pretty, besides he looks pretty and his lips taste like strawberries... What the fuck am I saying? I don't even know him to conclude this in the first place... Why am I thinking of him?_ **

**Changmin!.** **_I jumped scared by the scream._ ** **Are you listening to me?**

**Oh... sorry, can you repeat it again?**

**Pay attention!. He** **_yelled again as he hit his board_ ** **. How I was telling you... Chanhee usually waits for his friend who I think is called Younghoon outside his faculty and curiously, he's close to yours.**

**Dance?.** **_I asked incredulously._ **

**Yes, so it will be easier to steal his phone.** **_I blinked confused, did you say steal?_ **

**What do you mean steal?**

**What you heard, you will steal his phone.** **_I threw a pillow at him while dodging it._ **

**Did you go insane? Why would I do that?**

**Because I can hit you!**

**What?**

**You see... you will steal his phone and run away, he will surely chase you and that's when I show up.** **_I raised an eyebrow hoping for more explanation._ ** **Then, you will let it hit you and Chanhee will see it.** **_I just looked at him with expression, he's fucking crazy._ ** **You will give me the phone and I will give it back him.**

**Sure, you look like a fucking hero and I'm a thief.**

**So, let's switch roles!** **_I looked at him confused._ **

**What do you mean?**

**You are going to make him fall in love while I help you.** **_I felt like my breath caught._ **

**What are you talking about? You said he was interested in you.** **_I felt like my voice was shaking, what the fuck was this?_ **

**It's true... but you are handsome and you don't like boys.** **_Right... I never told him what happened._ ** **I still feel nervous around him, I don't want to say that I still love him, but I like boys.**

**I get your point... but I won't do that Kevin.** **_I said seriously._ ** **Okay, I'll help you with your plan but don't involve me in that way.** **_I said while looking at me with a small smile, I was relieved, I really didn't want to involve my person with him, this is just a revenge plan and nothing more._ **

_I sighed while looking at the ceiling._ I just want to get this over with quick... oh. _I remembered to search into it. I got up to grab my laptop. Kevin had asked me to find out more about Chanhee and how he knows I'm a good stalker and hacker he just took advantage of that._ Fucking Moon, you only want me to commit crimes... let's see what there is. _I started typing his name and downloading files, in a few minutes I had all the information about Chanhee. I felt fucking bad doing this, it was illegal and I'm invading someone else's privacy, but like I said this is just a plan and nothing more._ You're not even his friend, don't feel so bad. _I was convinced myself while downloading the files. Nothing that I didn't expect, Chanhee was the best of his class and part of the student council, he was religious and participated in the choir of his church. Was it going to be that good? I couldn't believe it. He had had three boyfriends and was gay, He loved fashion and reading books... What kind of books will he read? Well, that's not relevant. Let's move on, his father abandoned him and his mother at a young age... and he was raised by his grandmother. Fuck, now I felt bad for doing this to him... it wasn't his fault that my best friend fell in love with him and Chanhee didn't deserve this, but once again I shouldn't care, we're nothing. Well, what else do we have... he's in design and arts faculty, also to being the lead singer of his band. He's not good at sports but he got excellent grades for his effort._ Damn, it's too perfect and good that it makes me feel worse about what we're doing to it him, enough I'm going to take a shower. _I said shutting down laptop after that brief investigation._

* * *

_I woke up earlier than usual, well I really couldn't sleep because of this stupid plan. Should I keep helping? Is the question that was in my head._ Just get this over with quick and you'll be free. _I repeated as I got up to get ready and go to university._

_After the first class, I went to the performing arts faculty where Chanhee was staying._ There is. _I said while calling Kevin._ He's here, I'm going to wait for him to speak on the phone, yes, I know, bye. _Without more to say, I hung up the call. Chanhee wore shorts again but this time he had a light blue shirt tucked into his pants highlighting his small figure that was also cute like him. He dresses well... he really likes fashion. I said as I watched him, suddenly a very handsome boy came out and greeted him, Who is he? They seem close. I tried to get a little closer to hear what they were talking about._

See you later hyung. _He said with his soft voice as he smiled, that fucking smile was too pretty like him... Why was everything he did pretty? I don't understand. It was at that moment that he took his phone and made a call, it was my chance. I approached slowly walking in front of him._

Come on Ji Changmin you can't hesitate now. _I said while breathing heavily. In about a second I ran over and grabbed his phone._

Hey, what are you doing?. _He said while chasing me. I couldn't see my face as I was covered with a mask and I was wearing a beanie so that my hair wouldn't show. I texted Kevin saying I was on my way._ Stop Please. _I felt uneasy hearing his tired voice._

Sorry. _I said running bumping into another person. Holy shit, it was the guy from before._

Hyung!, please stop him. _I felt like they grabbed me by the collar of my shirt._

Who are you?. _He said while he still had me. Fuck, why everything have to go wrong?_

Hyung! He has my phone!. He _yelled as the named man glared at me, fuck Kevin where are you. I felt myself being hit and thrown to the ground so that the phone fell away._

My phone!. _Chanhee yelled as he ran._

I have it!. _Kevin said grabbing the phone. Always late, idiot. The boy who hit me was confused so I decided to run the moment he released me. My lip was bleeding as I felt a pain in one of my cheeks._

Fuck u Moon, I'm going to kill you. _I said touching my cheek._

* * *

_I spent the day with everyone's gazes on me. Some rumors said he was part of a gang or things like that, can you worry about your fucking life? They were gossips. Tired I went to one of the sports field seats._ Fuck, this hurts. _I said touching the wound on my lip._ Fuck u Kevin. _I said frustrated placing my hands on my face. He was supposed to hit me, not some guy who sure is in rugby or some sport, it hurt like shit._ Fuck, what a fucking day I just want to go home. _I said hitting the seat._

Are you okay?. _That voice... of all the people I could meet, I definitely didn't want it to be him._

Sorry... I'm being so loud. _I said almost in a whisper._

It's okay, I should apologize for interrupting someone. _Damn, is he kind even in this situation? You're not human, Choi Chan Hee._ Can i sit?. _I just shrugged I didn't want to speak I was tired._ Ji Changmin right? _He said unsure while playing with his fingers, I guess it's a habit of him. I just moved my head in affirmation._

You're Chanhee right. _It was a stupid question but I didn't know what to say, I wasn't the best talking to others._

Oh... you remember me. _He said looking down with a small smile? Why? Our conversation died there. With nothing else to do, I touched my wound on my cheek while complaining._

Are you okay?. _He asked but this time looking worried._

Oh... This? It's just a small wound. _I said as I shrugged, I saw him frown._

It's still a wound and it hurts. _He said a bit annoyed? I don't know, I couldn't read his expression._ Wait, don't move from here. _Like he said, I kept waiting even though I didn't know why, I could have left but that wouldn't be polite of me. Suddenly, I saw him return with his bag while smiling._ Sorry for the delay. _He said sitting down again as he took out cotton and a strange liquid from his bag._

What is that?. _He looked at me with a smile as he placed that liquid on the cotton._

It's alcohol to disinfect your wound, I guess you didn't, did you? _I looked at him confused, why did he care? And why did he go looking for those things? I didn't understand._

No... _I answered without concern. After the cotton was covered in alcohol he looked at me for a moment as if requesting permission to apply it to my face._ Okay, you can do _it. I said as he came over and cleaned my wound._ Ouch.

Sorry, did it hurt a lot? _He said with eyes full of fear and concern, why was he so worried?_

Okay... it just hurt a bit. _After my words, he applied the cotton again, cleaning the wound. He was so focused on blowing that he didn't realize I was seeing him. Shit, even up close he looked so pretty; his eyes were big and had a little pink shadow, his nose was small but very cute on his face, his skin looked like the same snow and he looked so soft, and his lips were shining. Fuck, I'm overthinking his pretty face, enough._

Ready. _I didn't realize when he had placed a band aid on my cheek._

What is this?. _I said touching my cheek._

A band aid? Sorry about the design, Younghoon likes designs. _That name, was it his best friend right? He looked at me again, more precisely looked at my lips._

What happen?

Just... your lip is bleeding.

This?. _I said running my finger across the bottom._ It's nothing will pass.

It will get infected if you do that. _He said sighing._ Wait, I have something to sanitize it. _He said pulling out a swab. Our eyes met feeling like my breath was cut off. What was happening?._ Huh... I... can... huh. _He was nervous and that made me nervous too, I didn't understand what he meant._

Huh?. _He looked at my lips, then the swab, and finally my eyes, oh... I got it. I closed my eyes as I brought my face closer to him._ Do it. _I felt him bend my head a little, his hands were cold but soft._ Ouch!

Sorry, I'm not good at this...

Okay, obviously it must hurt a bit _. I said to calm him down._

I don't want to be a gossip... since you hate them from what I could hear, but how did this happen to you? _Fuck, he had me already._

Mmmh... I fell down the stairs.

What!?. He _said jumping in his seat._ Are you okay? You should see a doct-

I'm fine. I said, _I didn't understand why it got that way_. By the way, how did you know my name? _I felt like they stopped cleaning the wound, a cold wind ran through my body. He didn't answer, shit. Did I say something bad?_ I know... for being part of the student council right?

Sure! We had to meet the students to meet their demands. _He said laughing, too._ I think I'm done. _I opened my eyes and our faces were inches apart. I could feel his breathing and how his eyes were constantly blinking. It was ethereal, everything about Chanhee seemed magical, it felt like I was finding it harder to breathe. I kept looking into his eyes while he bit his lower lip, what the fuck is going on? I didn't know but I couldn't look away, it was as if I was frozen and a supernatural force prevented me._

Am I interrupting something? _I heard a third voice. Chanhee broke away in one quick movement._

You arrived! I was waiting for you. _He told the blue-haired one who was looking at me suspiciously. Who was he? He was also handsome... Is he surrounded by people like that? Although I wouldn't be surprised._

Well, I'm here...

I know. _He said rolling his eyes._ Huh... well I have to go. _He said looking at me._

Oh sure... thanks for everything, you know. _He smiled at me as he got up._

See you, Ji Changmin. _He said while blue haired boy who didn't stop looking at me._

Kevin... you don't need to know this righ _t? I said while grabbing my things._ Please... don't be nice to me. _I said sighing, I didn't want Chanhee nice to me, however, it was too late._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im soooo lazy to tag other members but they will appear anyway, however, their names will never be mentioned;) just try to guess which is which


	3. Chapter 3

**third step - let's be friends**

_A week had passed since this stupid plan and Kevin no longer bothered me, he was relieved and calm, but a part of me missed seeing Chanhee and didn't know why._

**"So you don't need me anymore?"** **_I asked as I was walking home with my best friend._ **

**"It's not that... just that these days Chanhee and I have grown closer."** **_I smiled a bit annoyed, I didn't like that idea so much._ **

**"So?"**

**"We have completed the third step that we are friends!"** **_I raised an eyebrow hoping for more explanation._ ** **"Do you remember the day they beat you?"**

**"Don't mention that or I'll kick your nonexistent ass."**

**"Hey! I have little but I have something!"** **_I rolled my eyes._ **

**"Well, what happened next?"**

" **You see... I talked to Chanhee and we exchanged contact numbers."** ** _He said smiling._** **"Since then we've been texting each other even though it's boring... it talks about books and movies that don't really interest me."** ** _I stopped walking and looked at him. "What?"_**

**"I do those things too, Kev."** **_I said irritated by my friend's attitude, there are people who like those things and we don't necessarily have to be boring. Chanhee wasn't, in fact it's interesting that he likes books considering he's a popular guy, I honestly didn't think he would be that type... Fuck, I'm already thinking about him._ ** **"What you think?"**

**"Nothing, let's keep walking."**

**"Well, as I was saying... we are getting closer, so we will continue with the fourth step."**

**"And which one is it?"**

**"The Date."** **_He said smiling._ ** **"I'll invite him somewhere to hang out so he can see how cool I am."**

**"What happens if he doesn't accept?"** **_Kevin looked at me confused while I was shocked by those words. It shouldn't matter to me, but at that moment, a small part of me wished that Chanhee would reject him._ **

**"Why do you say that?"**

**"I don't know."** **_I said with a shrug._ ** **"There is such a possibility... who knows."**

**"Well, it won't happen and if it does, you are going to convince him to accept."** **_I stopped thinking about his words again._ ** **"You'll do right?"**

**"Sure."** **_I said with a small smile._ ** **"That's what I'm for."** **_Kevin smiled and grabbed my arm._ **

**"Okay, then let's organize."** **_I couldn't hear him, I was thinking about his words and how for a moment I wanted to forget this plan. Chanhee was getting more and more into my thoughts and I even started liking him… fuck had to end this soon._ ** **"Chang!"**

**"Huh?"**

**"You're not even listening to me! You're always in the clouds or whatever."**

**"Oh... sorry, can you repeat?"**

**"Well, listen carefully."** **_He said as him stood in front of me._ ** **"You're going to help me on that date."**

**"How?"**

**"Easy! We'll communicate via texts while you tell me what Chanhee likes and dislikes."**

**"How will I know that?"** **_He rolled his eyes and hit my forehead._ **

**"Ouch..."**

**"You must investigate him further!"**

**"I don't want to be a fucking psycho again."**

**"You won't be! Take it as a college report."** **_I looked at him in disbelief._ **

**"You are fucking insane."**

**"I know, but you love me like that."** **_He said while I was rolling my eyes._ **

**"Whatever".**

**"Well, my dear friend, I must leave you."**

**"Why? I thought you were going to stay."**

**"I'll hang out with Younghoon."** **_That name ... where I'd heard it._ ** **"Yeah, he's Chanhee's best friend and before you say anything, it's just to find out more about Chanhee."**

**"I said nothing."**

**"Anyway."** **_He said clearly avoiding the topic, What are you planning this time, Moon?_ ** **"See you later!"**

* * *

_I sighed as I headed to the library, I had all my free time due to having classes in the afternoon._

"I'm going to ask for the book that I _haven't finished reading." I said happily heading to the library._ "Good morning~. I would like to order the book "Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen".

"Sorry, but someone just took it." _What the hell? Nobody reads that book that I remember, what's more, it's always in the same dusty place._

"Who's?"

"That boy over there." _Said the assistant pointing to pink hair. Fuck wasn't who I thought he was._ "Hey pink haired boy! _." Fuck, fuck, I already blew it._

"Me?." _Chanhee said as he pointed and turned around. Our eyes met as my chest felt heavy._

"There he's, you can talk to him." _The assistant said with an angelic smile that he wanted to kill for calling him._

"Thank you." _I said slowly approaching the pink head. What was I going to say? Fuck, Changmin thinks of something._

"Ji Changmin?" _He said with a smile, again with that soft smile that marked his rosy cheekbones. He looked like a peach._

"He- hey." _What the hell did you just stutter?_

"It's been a while.." _Our conversation died there like that time on the sports field._

"Yeah..." _I answered, not holding the silence any longer._ "I see you picked that book..."

"This?." _He said grabbing the book._ "I started reading it a few days ago... Were you reading it?"

"Huh yeah." I _said scratching the back of my neck._ "I think anyone else would read it... I mean it's... boring for some."

"I know... people get bored with books and I don't understand why, they are a new world for me." _I looked at the stars in his eyes, I could see how much he liked it._

"Yeah... uh, do you want a coffee?" _What the hell am I saying? A coffee? Why? Why am I so fucking nervous?_

"Uh... okay? if you're not busy or..."

"Not!." _I said almost yelling._ "I mean... I don't have classes until the afternoon, so that's okay." _I said smiling. Chanhee nodded as we headed to the coffeehouse. Kevin needed to know this? I said in my thoughts while receiving both glasses. No, I don't think it's relevant._

* * *

_After having our coffees, I went to where Chanhee was applying gloss to his lips. His lips are thick but cute... they contrast with his milky skin and him... what the hell is wrong with me._

"Changmin!" _He said getting up._ "Can we go outside? The day is so nice." _I just moved my head in affirmation as we made our way to the university garden._

_We stood near a tree enjoying the breeze that blew in comfortable silence._

"Well... how about the book?"

"Uh... I'm about to finish it."

"Then don't give me a spoiler! I'm not even halfway there.", _he said, pouting while I laughed._

"It's okay... although it's interesting..." I _said leaning on my arms looking at the sky._ "It seems like a typical love story... but it's more complicated than that, I mean, love isn't perfect... it has difficulties and it's not happy at all."

"I know... although I really admire the character of the protagonist." I _directed my gaze to Chanhee expecting him to continue._ "She wasn't swayed and went her own way... she didn't marry a man she didn't love... she was honest with herself." _I see a bit sadness? in his face._ "She followed her heart despite the consequences that might happen... but she didn't give up."

_A melancholic silence surrounded us as I closed my eyes and breathed the air into my lungs._

"Uh... Kevin asked me a date." _I opened my eyes hearing his words._

"That's something he would do." _I said smiling bitterly._

"I... huh... I still haven't responded." _I felt my heart pound with fear._

"Why?." _I said turning my gaze to him once more. Our eyes met, feeling my breath catch._

"I still... don't know." _He said looking away._ "Do you think... I should accept?." _Those words echoed in my head, I didn't understand why he was asking me this and I didn't understand why he couldn't answer. It was simple, I had to tell him to accept but I couldn't, a part of me didn't want Chanhee to go on that date, a part of me didn't want them to be together, to hold hands, laugh or kiss... I wanted he reject to him, holy shit, this wasn't what we had planned._ "Changmin?"

"Why do you ask me?." _I scoffed._ "It's your decision... I don't have to answer for you please." _I said laughing._ "We are nothing."

_There was an eternal silence when I felt a cold run through my body. Out of curiosity, I decided to look at Chanhee feeling a twinge._

"You're right..." _He said looking down._ "Sorry, I don't know why I said that." _He started to get up._ "Because we are nothing." _I could see the crystals in hiseyes making my heart hurts_. "Bye Changmin and sorry to bother you." _Without more to say he walked away while I followed his trail with my eyes._

"What the hell did I do..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit angst :( that book is one of my faves! btw and chanhee read it hahah just a relevant fact? idk we are about to reach the end... tho i already wrote another nyukyu fic 😐


	4. Chapter 4

**fourth step - the date**

_Chanhee's words kept running through my head; "Because we are nothing", those words made a hole inside me and I didn't understand why._ "I did this just because Kevin asked me... because I owed him, but I feel really bad." _I said looking out my window. I remembered all the events that had happened in the last few weeks: my first meeting with Chanhee that went fucking wrong and for the first time I kissed a guy, the second meeting with him where he was also sucks and they beat me although after that we meeting again and he gave me a band aid, the third meeting in the library and our coffee... fuck it. It was about Chanhee, from day one I never stopped thinking about him, his eyes bright when he likes something, his lips with that little touch of strawberry lipstick, his cheekbones that look like two big peaches, as his hands cover his laugh when he laughs, how pretty he's with what he wears, how nice he is with people, how kind and smiling, how perfect. Chanhee I think..._

"..."

* * *

  
  


_The date of the appointment had arrived and yeah, I had to come although I was hesitant but I wanted to see everything with my own eyes, not that I'm a psychopath but I needed to end this quickly. I was outside the restaurant where Chanhee and Kevin would meet._

"You've seen him?."

"Relax Kev, he hasn't shown up yet." _Kevin was at the entrance of the place waiting for Chanhee while he call me. The plan was simple, I had to give Kevin tips and advice via text messages while chatting with Chanhee._

"What if he doesn't come?"

"It will come, please hold still." _He didn't understand why he was so nervous that he wasn't supposed to like him anymore, but it seemed like it was his first date with_ "his boyfriend... the last step". _Suddenly I felt a bitter taste in my throat._

"Sorry! the traffic was so late, but I'm here."

"Oh! Don't worry, I wasn't here long ago either... shall we go in?"

"Sure!"

"Min, Chanhee is here!" "Min? Are you there?"

"Huh? Yeah, sorry." _What the hell was that? I felt my heart rise to my throat without letting me breathe when I saw him, he was ethereal and brighter than this day, his smile illuminated the darkest place and I couldn't take my eyes off him... I didn't understand what was happening but I felt possessed by Choi Chan Hee._

* * *

_I went into the restaurant dressed up so it wouldn't look like it was me. I went to one of the tables behind them and ordered a coffee. I was ready for the plan._

"Good afternoon, did you choose what to eat?"

"Yes, let's order two pizzas and a soda and juice for my date, please."

"As you order."

"That's embarrassing..." _Chanhee said in a whisper as Kevin winked at him. They both seemed to get along so well that it made me want to drink my coffee and choke on it._

**moonotfunny**

S.O.S! Idk what to ask him.

**sQuirrel**

Okay, ask him what he's been up to these days or if he likes the place.

**moonotfunny**

That's very boring :p

**sQuirrel**

Ask him.

"Chanhee!"

"Yes?"

"Huh... what do you think of the place?"

"It's very beautiful! I like the European style it has and the paintings are very beautiful, especially the Eiffel Tower."

"It really is... like you." Fuck, I'm talking to myself, just focus, Ji Changmin.

"Yes it's pretty."

"How did you know I liked these things?"

"It was just an instinct."

They both laughed... What the hell was that? They get along too well, that shouldn't be the case.

**sQuirrel**

Ask him about the book he has been reading.

**moonotfunny**

That's boring Chang D:

**Squirrel Q**

stfu and ask him, the above worked too.

**moonotfunny**

If you think...

"Huh... have you read any books recently?"

"Yes..."

"What's it called? Is it good? I'm not a book lover but if it's your recommendation, I might be interested."

"It's called pride and prejudice."

"Oh... do you want to tell me what it's about or something?"

"It's a bit cliche but at the same time isn't... the protagonist breaks the stereotypes imposed at that time... follows her heart and falls in love... fight for her love, both of them... it's cute I like it."

"Me too..." _I said listening to their conversation._ _Fight for what you love... I really have nothing to fight for._

"You seem to like that book a lot, huh?"

"I... yeah, it's a bit special."

"Hey, what's up with that face? Did I say something wrong?"

"No! It's not that... just that that book reminds me of a person... but it's not important even though I thought it was."

_Although he didn't say my name, I knew it was me, I felt like daggers piercing my entire body with that phrase from his lips. I had hurt Chanhee and for some reason I was hurting me too._

**moonotfunny**

Min... the atmosphere got tense and Chanhee looks sad, idk what to do. :)

**sQuirrel**

huh... ask him if they believe in love.

**moonotfunny**

And why is that? It's too much.

**sQuirrel**

It's a deep subject and he will find you interesting and serious if you speak it, just do it.

  
  


"Do you believe in love?"

"What?"

"Yeah... that's love..."

"I didn't expect such a question on the first date... but I really don't know what to believe anymore."

"How is that?"

"I thought loving someone would be nice and a colorful world... but it sucks."

**sQuirrel**

Ask him if he loves someone.

**moonotfunny**

Changmin, I don't think that's any of our business... let's just get on with the plan.

**sQuirrel**

fuck! just ask him.

_Yeah, I sounded desperate like I wanted to read his thoughts and understand his heart, what the fuck was happening to me._

"Do you love somebody?"

"..."

"Sorry! I didn't want to be nosy or something com"

"There's no use trying to maintain that feeling that it will only eat you up and make you weak."

**sQuirrel**

So you decided to quit?

"It's not like I have a choice either, you know, it's the best I could do."

**sQuirrel**

Why?, you said you admired lizzy who fought for her love but you can't do the same. So what did you love for?

"I couldn't! I'm weak and I can't do it because this is reality, Kevin! It's not a fucking book!"

_His answer made me feel a bitter taste in my throat, love? Why do it if you're not going to fight for it... it didn't make sense, I didn't love Gyuri but it was humiliating to confess it's just that... but Chanhee's answer echoed in my head and I didn't? understand it._

"Sorry Chanhee... I think it was too much."

"Oh... sorry, I... I don't know why I acted that way."

"Your order is here."

"Oh! thank you very much."

"You have a good night."

"We will do it!"

"Kevin... are these tomatoes?"

"Yeah! Especially for you because I know you love them, so open your mouth."

"Fuck, I lied to Kevin that Chanhee loved tomatoes... when he didn't." _I felt bad for lying a few days ago while choosing food for his date, why did I?_

"Kevin... I hate them so much, please push them away."

"What..."

"Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom... suddenly those tomatoes took away my appetite."

_Chanhee ran up to the bathroom, fuck... this was my fault, I just hope he's okay. I should better go. I said paying for my coffee and then walking out the door and being grabbed by the arm._

* * *

"Changmin... why." _Kevin had a look I couldn't decipher, but I felt exposed._

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you lie to me about the tomatoes?" _I didn't answer, I didn't know what to say to him._ "You wanted to ruin it on purpose? What's wrong with you? And those questions?"

_I didn't answer, I felt like they had caught the criminal and Kevin was the detective. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know why I acted that way, I didn't know why it made me mad to see my friend with Chanhee, no... maybe I knew but I didn't want accept it._

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry..."

"You always say that... but you never answer my questions, Changmin Why did you do that?" _I felt like I couldn't breathe, the words wouldn't come out, and my heart was beating faster and faster._ "Changmin... you..." _And like when the detective solves the case._ "Do you like Chanhee?"

_Do I like Chanhee? What did he means by liking... I like his person? Yeah, as I also like the person who's Kevin... or mom... wait, I wouldn't kiss them but Chanhee?, His lips are soft as clouds and he always smelled so good, I... I want to kiss him a lot but that meant I liked him._

"Oh my goodness, your face is red." _Kevin said while pointing at me._ "You are in love with Chanhee!" _My body froze, I couldn't speak, I couldn't answer, I felt time stop and a chill ran down my spine as I was pushed off a cliff with roses nailing me all over my body._

"Are you insane?." _I said laughing, they caught me but I couldn't accept it, I didn't have the courage._

"Don't try to fool me, your face gave you away a few minutes ago." _He said mockingly._ "Wow... who would think you would like a boy and precisely the boy who rejected me, it hurts a little but-"

"I don't like!" _I said yelling._ "What the hell are you saying?" _I said laughing trying to calm myself down._ "You know, I started helping you in this stupid plan scheme just because I owed you."

"Changmin..."

"In love with Chanhee? Don't make me laugh. He's annoying and he also loves things, you know I don't have time for that."

"Okay, but changmi-"

"Let's finish these plans quickly, I want to be free and not see his face anymore."

"That's good to know it." That voice... fuck, no, please don't be him.

"Chanhee..."

"Was it nice to tease me?" _He said approaching us._ "Just because I rejected you did you want to get back at me Kevin?"

"..."

"And you." _He said looking at me._ "It was nice to experiment with me, right? Wow Ji Changmin really... I thought for a moment someone understood me but I was wrong, you are equal to all the shit I have ever known." _His words burned in my body without letting me breathe._ "But it's okay, you're free now... you two can stop your stupid plan, I hate you both and especially you Ji Changmin, don't appear in my sight again." _He was crying... his cheeks were wet. "You're the worst thing I ever knew." He disappeared... Chanhee disappeared from my sight once more, I felt my heart clench and small tears began to appear, why?_

"Ouch... that hurt but I thought it would be worse... well I think we can stop with that- hey are you crying?"

"I have to go Kevin. See you another day." _I ran away, without any direction I just wanted to run and forget everything, forget this fucking plan, forget the fucking weeks, forget Chanhee... I felt like I was drowning and those roses were digging so hard into my body as the blood ran through my fingers._ "Why love if you're not going to fight?" _It was stupid but it was too late for me, who didn't find the meaning of love... right now I loved someone and that was Chanhee._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry... the end is coming tho!


	5. Chapter 5

**fifth step - be my boyfriend**

_To say that I felt that I was the biggest trash that can exist was little, since it was shit. His tears rolling down his beautiful cheeks were still in my head, that scene was replaying in my head like it was a fucking cassette tape and someone will think I'm exaggerating but no, it's really killing me, I'm dead. The moment Chanhee looked at me with those eyes full of pain and resentment and then pronounced "I hate you" it was as if he had a sword and he had buried it right in my chest, as if he had taken my heart with his hands. And I crushed him But I didn't blame him, I couldn't, in the end the only one to blame was me, not even Kevin. If I hadn't accepted this stupid plan, if I hadn't met Chanhee, if I hadn't met the book-loving boy, then I wouldn't have caught such strong feelings for someone I barely knew ... It doesn't even make sense, can you fall in love with someone in a span of time? I never believed in love at first sight, but I may have fallen in love with Chanhee the moment I saw him._

"But you already blew it and you can't do anything, now he hates you." _I said lying on my bed staring at the ceiling of my room. I hadn't been to class with the excuse that I was sick, I didn't reply to Kevin's messages, and I hadn't showered for days, fuck, I really didn't feel like breathing. My head was filled with that smiling cheekbone boy who looked like a cute peach with his silky pink hair, and his pink lips with that little cherry-flavored gloss..._ "Fuck!" _I said placing a pillow on my face. It's just a stupid crush, it's not the first time I've fallen in love... Gyuri was easy to forget, but why with Chanhee it seemed like he was a fucking pattern. Fuck, I missed him; I missed his laugh, his pretty hands, his smell, his eyes shining when he spoke, I missed everything about him that was driving me crazy._ "Fuck, fuck, fuck myself." _I said smothering my face on the pillow. I loved Chanhee, I was fucking in love with him to the point that it hurt._ "This shit sucks." _I didn't want it to end like this, I didn't want Chanhee to be out of my life no matter how selfish he was, as much as it hurt him, I wanted to keep seeing him smile, I didn't care if he didn't love me the same way, I just wanted him to be with me, in my life, as friends or whatever, I just needed him, I needed Chanhee._ "I want to fight for what I feel... but what the hell am I going to do if he don't want to know anything about me..."

"Changmin! Your friends are here." _I heard my mother loud, wait... Friends ?, I only have three and I don't think it's Sunwoo he has training with the team and, Eric? well he was punished for running away with Sunwoo for a party, incredible that even my friends have luckier in love. So that would suit like Kevin... but she said friends._

"MY GOD! HERE SMELL SOMEONE DIED!" _Kevin came in making a fuss like always but he wasn't alone, shit he wasn't alone._

"What are you doing here and why is he coming with you?"

"Ji Changmin! Your manners!" _He said hitting my sheets as he tried to throw them away._ "OH MY GOODNESS you smell worse than Sunday trash."

"Hey thanks".

"Younghoon... sorry, my friend is an asshole."

"Hey! Am I still here?" _I said throwing a look of hatred at my friend._

"Go take a good shower first please I didn't come here to talk to a homeless man." _I rolled my eyes and he dragged me to the bathroom, I wouldn't give him a reason but I knew I sucked._

* * *

_After a few minutes I came back with a towel in my hair and my with only my sweatpants._

"Wow..." _I heard from Kevin's guest I still didn't understand what he was doing here._

"GOD! Ji Changmin put something on please, don't embarrass myself in front of my boyfriend."

"It's my fucking room and we're... wait, boyfriend?"

"I thought you would tell him after talking about it, baby." _Did you say baby? okay, I don't understand anything. I heard him sigh as I put on a shirt._

"Now... you are going to explain to me what a boyfriend is and why them are here." _I heard him sigh again, please stop or I'll hit your ass_.

"Do you remember when I spent time with Younghoon to find out more about Chanhee?" _I just nodded looking out of the corner of my eye at the taller one._ "Well... I guess I deviated a bit from my goal and maybe I knew that Younghoon liked me since high schoo... and well a couple of kisses and other things that I'm not going to tell you but basically now is my boyfriend. " _My mouth was open without believing what I was hearing, this was a fucking joke._

"Hey, I'm Kim Younghoon, Chanhee's best friend and Kevin's boyfriend... sorry for coming in unannounced, but I really need to talk to you." _I saw him get up and head in my direction. Fist. I felt my stomach hit._

"What the hell..." _I said, stifling a complaint._

"That's for hurting my precious Channie."

_Then he slapped me on the back, what the fuck?_

"And this for loving Channie, you have my support." _I looked at him confused without understanding what he meant, I looked at Kevin looking for an explanation._

"You see Min... I told Younghoon what I was doing, also he hit me like you, but I deserved it... revenge isn't going anywhere."

"If you knew, why you keep doing it." _I said annoyed._

"Because you were acting different." _I looked at him in disbelief._ "Why didn't you tell me that you met with Chanhee even when it wasn't part of the plan?" _I froze, again trapped._

"How did you know?"

"I can answer that." _Younghoon said raising his hand._ "Chanhee always talks to me about you." _I felt a turn in my heart when hearing those words._ "He told me how many times they met and I told Kevin."

"Exactly... at first I felt hurt, I mean, we are best friends why wouldn't you tell me." _I hung my head, Kevin was right I shouldn't have kept the fact that I was meeting Chanhee from him._

"I'm sorry... I don't know why I did it." _I felt familiar hands taking mine._

"Okay Min, I'm not angry." _He said smiling as I returned with smile, he really was my best friend and I wouldn't change him for anything in the world even if sometimes it's a dramatic queen._ "Well getting back on topic... I kept doing it because Younghoon had a guess."

"And what was that guess?"

"You started getting feelings for Chanhee but you didn't realize it." _My face turned red, was it that easy to read?_

"I guess we hit the mark." _Said my friend's boyfriend._

"But you acted like a complete asshole the other day and hurt Chanhee."

"Fuck I know... and I've felt trash ever since."

"We figured out..." _Kevin said looking around my room._

"Trust me you're not the only one." _Younghoon said as I raised an eyebrow._ "Chanhee is locked up in his room eating ice cream while consuming dramas, I can't take it anymore." _I smiled bitterly, knowing that I was the cause of him being like this._

"You didn't make him feel any better Hoonie."

"But it's true! He looks like a dead." _He said sighing._ "Changmin." _He called while I lifting my head._ "Why do you like Chanhee?"

_I froze as my breath hitched searching for the right words to express what I feel._

"At first he's too pretty to be real... but then it's more than that... it's more than his pretty face." _I said smiling._ "I like it when he gets lost and rambles talking about a book he liked... or when he scrunch his nose because he hates the smell of tomato." _I said laughing._ "Also how warm he is... even though his hands remain cold... he's very warm and cares a lot about others... and he's unpredictable, you know ... the way we always met was quirky like him ... I like him because he's, I guess, an enigma something I can't figure out.” _There was a silence as they looked at me, fuck, I had just realized everything I was saying and my face turned red, I was embarrassed, ashamed._

"Wow... boy, did my best friend really whipped you?"

"I already told you, he's a romantic when he proposes it." _Kevin said as I threw a pillow at him._

"But I can see your sincerity in your eyes... your eyes glowed brightly when you spoke of Chanhee." _Younghoon said with a smile._

"Huh... thank you?"

"Ji Changmin, being shy and embarrassed, I must bring the camera for this moment."

"I hate you Kevin!"

"Okay, let's get on with the plan." _Younghoon said as Kevin launched into a hug._

"Really? Do you agree?"

"Yes, after listening to your friend... I made a decision." _They both looked at each other in accomplices._

"What plan are you talking about?" _I asked while they both laughed. Kevin got up and took his portable whiteboard out of his bag, I reiterate that I hate him and he's a pain in my butt. He wrote a few words while the sound of chalk echoed in my ears, this brought back memories and I didn't like it._

"fifth step: be my boyfriend." _Oh no..._

"Oh no... don't even think about it, Kevin, i will never humiliate me like this I n-

"Min, listen to me." _I felt his hands on my shoulders._ "Do you like Chanhee?" _I just nodded._ "Do you miss him?", _The answer was obvious._ "You want to be more than an acquaintance or even a friend, right?" _I hated to admit it in front of my friend, but yeah._ "So you have nothing to lose, just confess."

"You're forgetting a detail... Chanhee hates me and doesn't want to see me again in his life."

"Not really..." _Younghoon said yawning. I looked at him confused without understanding the intention of his words._ "Chanhee talks too much but he never says what he really thinks, did he tell you because he's hurt but he hates you? If you only knew." He _said rolling his eyes._

"How are you so sure?"

"I'm his best friend, best friends have the gift of knowing each other better than him, believe me when I tell you that he doesn't really hate you." _I sighed as he nodded, his words comforting me somehow._

"Fine... but how am I going to confess? I'm sure he doesn't want to see me... if I show up out of nowhere, he'll run away."

"You're right..." _Kevin said touching his chin._

"I have an idea." _Younghoon said._ "I'll ask his to go shopping Chanhee, sad as he is, he loves to shop, it's a stress reliever."

"So..." _I said looking at him for more explanations._

"You can confess him, he won't know you'll be there."

"Anyway, when he sees me he'll go away."

"You are being so negative." _Kevin said looking at me annoyed._

"I'm realistic, it's different." _The three of us sighed._

"Bingo!" _Kevin said putting his palms together._ "You are going to confess but he will not see you." _We both look at him confused looking for more answers._ " _Y_ ou see... there are those recordings that you listen to in stores, where you listen to discounts, commercials and even music."

"Oh, I get it."

"I don't..."

"You are going to confess in a public but Chanhee will only listen to you so he will be confused when he doesn't see you."

"That's an excellent idea! That's my boy." _Younghoon said kissing his cheek, it was cute and gross._

"It's not, are you insane? That's too embarrassing and how am I going to do that without getting caught by a guard."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of that, my uncle is the owner of the store we always go to with Chanhee." _Said the tallest as if he were a hero. I just rolled my eyes._ "And Changmin... Don't you think it would be unpredictable? Like all your encounters with Chanhee, it's a crazy thing that not everyone would do and knowing that Chanhee would really like that cliche."

"Why do you have so much faith in me? We don't even know if he has feelings for me." _He took my shoulders looking at Kevin, they both sighed._

"It's not my duty to tell you... but it's better to try than to feel regretful." He was right, I sighed looking at them both.

"Okay, whatever."

* * *

_The day of the stupid plan came faster than I thought, I didn't know what to get wear, it was just a confession, not a date or a marriage proposal but I felt my heart beating very hard in my rib cage._ "I just have to be me... and tell him how I feel, it's not that difficult."

_Say it wasn't, but do it... I was already in front of the store, it wasn't that big but there were several people. The nervous ones were already playing me against feeling small and cowardly, I wanted to escape and forget this._

"We are already here". _Kevin appeared next to me with a smile._ "Younghoon will be here in a few more minutes, so let's go inside." _He said grabbing my arm as I froze._

"I don't think I can do this Kevin." _I said shaking, I was scared of what might happen._ "I felt a squeeze in my hand."

"Min... just be yourself... confess like you always have, being sincere with your heart, sometimes you are cold but when you like someone you are very warm and sincere, I just know how you always are." _Those words gave me encouragement and support, I was grateful to have someone like Kevin in my life. I nodded and we entered arriving at the place where it would be, they showed me how everything worked._

"Are you going to promote something?" _Said the manager of the place._

"He's going to confess to his lover." _Kevin said jokingly._

"That's cute and it makes me feel lonelier than I'm... but I hope everything goes well with your confession, you only have a few minutes before the others arrive, so try to do it so quickly." _She said she was leaving without giving me a "fight" first, I wanted to die._

"Well I'll be outside, you know what to do, Min." _Kevin said as I nodded nervously, I could feel my heart beating so hard that I could hear the drum in my ears._

_While waiting for the signal looking at the small room thinking about all the pros and cons of this plan... the worst that could happen is that he hates me more but as Younghoon said it is better to try than feel regretful._

* * *

_Thirty minutes had passed and there was still no signal... suddenly my phone rang._ "Have arrived." _I felt like a lump in my throat that prevented me from formulating a word._ "I'll tell you when to stop the song, okay." _Kevin said while nodding._ "You will do well, just express how you know how to do it."

"Younghoon we always come to the same store..."

"What's the problem? I thought you liked it."

"It's not that... just that I really didn't want to go out."

"But you're out now, come on Hee, you can't be depressed your whole life over a boy."

"I'm not depressed! Especially for him! I don't care."

"Yeah, whatever you say Channie."

"Besides, I can't find anything I like."

"Keep looking, I'll try this on and be right back."

"Okay..."

"I'm already gone, tell Changmin to pause the music."

 _I felt my phone ringing again._ "Now you can pause the music." _Kevin said as my fingers trembled and I felt sweat run down my neck._ "Come on Ji Changmin, let's do this." _Suddenly the music stopped, I took a deep breath trying to calm myself._

"And the music? What's going on?"

"Sorry for the intervention... you must wonder why the music stopped, well it's my fault, but it's for a good cause."

"It can't be... it's not him, impossible."

"Hey Chanhee... it's been a while..." _I said into the microphone feeling my heart pound for fear that it would be heard on the speaker._ "Before you go... please listen to me is all I ask of you... and then." _I gulped_. "After listening if you still want to leave, you can do so..."

"It must be a joke."

"It's true, it was a plan... a five-step plan for you to fall in love with my friend and yeah, I offered to help him... at first I didn't think much about it, this love thing has never been good for me, so I thought... if others suffered it shouldn't matter but I was wrong. " _I said while pausing._ "I was wrong because I met you Chanhee... our first meeting was peculiar and maybe cliche at the same time but that doesn't mean that from day one things changed for me. When did your phone get stolen? It was me but then I received my deserved right, and then... we met again in a peculiar way again." _I said smiling._ " You were so kind that my perception of people like you... you know, popular people changed, yeah, I usually judge the others just to defend myself... I don't easily trust people, but you, you showed a transparency that somehow caught me. Your hands were cold at the time against my cheek but you were warm... "

"You're so fucking Idiot."

"Yeah I'm sure I'm an idiot for not realizing what was going on... but after that day I started to like u more and more... but this was a plan and just that or that was the thought that I tried to hold on. The day we met reading in the library you were shining... you always do but your eyes shone more than ever when you spoke of the book we were reading, I could see your sincerity in your eyes and the admiration for you had to the protagonist but then you asked me about the date... you asked me if you should go and I was an idiot, say don't go to that date, don't go please but I don't...?, because I was afraid to meet you a few days ago and I felt so weird... it was too much to process at the time but the last straw was the day of the appointment... starting that day you were so pretty fuc-

_I stopped remembering that it was a public confession._ "You were very pretty and I just thought it was because of Kevin... it burned my throat with a fire. But then I made it worse and ruining the date and hurting you. You said you hated me and that's fine, I would too if someone was such an idiot... " _I took a deep breath._ " I'm rambling a lot to say just two words... but that's the point, rambling to realize all the things I did because... " _My heart was going to blow up at any moment._ " Because I like you Chanhee, I like how pretty you are, I like when you smile, I like your cold hands on my cheek, I like your bright eyes when you talk about a book that you like, I like you because it's you, I like you because I can't read you and every time I want to know something new about you... I just like you, I like you too much that I don't know what to do with this feeling that's driving me crazy, I like you Choi Chanhee. "

"Hoonie... is your friend crying?"

"He's a sensible... of course that it's."

"You said you admired Lizzy because she fought for her love... I really didn't understand why, but now I know... maybe this is selfish but I want to keep appearing in front of your eyes... even if it's a coincidence it doesn't matter , I want you to continue being part of my day to day... " _I said with a smile._

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Holy shit, I don't have time anymore... this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life and surely everyone who listens to me will laugh at how ridiculous I look ... but it doesn't matter, I just want to be honest with what I feel and that my feelings touch to you, I'm an idiot and I hurt you, I'm sorry... you can hate me, I'll let you hit me or whatever... just don't don't push me away. "

"Come here brat!"

"Fuck, I have to go, I like you Chanhee and I won't get tired of saying it, I like you, I like you, I lik-

_I ran out of the place with a smile as the guards chased me, I could feel the adrenaline rushing through my veins and my heart beating like crazy._

"Take him!" _I looked in various directions, the shit hadn't come out. Suddenly I felt my hand being grabbed and I was leaving the store. Running who knows where I might recognize those cold hands but that made you feel warm at the same time._

* * *

"I- I don't think they're chasing us anymore..." _He said stopping as he caught his breath. Our eyes met._

"Chanhee..."

"Changmin I-"

"Wait." _I said while stopping him._ "If you're going to reject me, I don't want to hear it, I've already heard those words too much... what I said earlier wasn't for you to answer me." _hit. Okay, I deserved it._

"Are you done? You talk too much." _He said looking at me._

"Well, you already hit me, I think that's what said y-" _I couldn't finish because I felt soft lips with mine, it was a kiss full of sweetness. He pulled away looking into my eyes._

"What you said there... is it true?" _I could see the hesitation in his eyes._

"Huh... I think I was pretty clear." _I said resting a hand on my stomach, the blow had been strong. He looked at me as he leaned in to place another kiss on my lips._

"Okay... you were sincere, so I will be too." _He said sighing as he placed his hands on my shoulders. I could feel the heat on my face when he touched me._ "I also made a plan of stupid steps but for you... you will fall in love with me." _I looked at him confused without understanding what he was saying._

"Wait what?." _I said looking for a joke in his eyes, however, there was nothing._

"I was going to give up the day you were rejected by that girl... but we ended up in the same university even though you never knew about my existence from what I could see." _I blinked trying to process the information._ "After that meeting... you know the incident of the kiss." _He said blushing._ "I felt like it was my chance but you didn't catch anything either and it was frustrating in a way."

"Wait... did you know me?"

"I think I was pretty obvious when I said your name." _He said sighing._ "So I made a plan with Younghoon my best friend... the idea was that you will notice me a little but it went wrong." _He said frustrated pouting, fuck I wanted to kiss him so much._

"I don't know what to say..."

"Don't say anything... I'm not done yet." _He said taking a deep breath._ "As I was frustrated I accepted the date thinking that you would catch something... but you didn't!, that put me in a bad mood and ended up going to that date and then knowing that it was all a lie broke my heart and I had enough." _He said agitated while I holding his face with my hands._

"Hey... calm down everything is fine." _His eyes contained an infinity of galaxies, fuck I really wanted to kiss him._

"Huh.. do you know why I rejected to Kevin?" _I shook my head._

"Because I liked someone else... it was you Ji Changmin, I've been in love with you for three years." _I looked at him wide-eyed while panting._

"What!" _I yelled._ "Three years? In love with me?" _I asked as he moved his head biting his lip._

"I never dared to talk to you because I was a coward... until Younghoon said to confess... the day I was going to do it you confessed to that girl again but they rejected you, it was raining and seeing you so devastated... it hurt me my heart, I wanted to hug you and take care of you, to tell you that you deserve something better than I will always be by your side... but I only looked at you "

"Chanhee..."

"And now you say all those cute things about me like I'm special... and you make my heart flutter once again, I wanted to end this infatuation thinking it was one-sided but..." _He said looking into my eyes_ "But I don't want... I want to like u much more... is that wrong?

 _I felt my chest full and smiled as I wrapped my arms around his waist, brushing our noses._ "That sounds good to me... show me so that I like you more every day" _He smiled at my statement._ "Now... can I kiss you?"

"We did it in our first meeting and you didn't even ask." _He said laughing as I rolled my eyes._ "But yeah, you can." _I took him from the small of his back as we brought our lips together in a deep kiss, conveying everything I felt for him, I kissed him as if it were the last time I did, desperately biting his lower lip while listening to him smile in the kiss. We part to breathe._

"I guess the fifth step is complete."

"And what is that?"

"Be my boyfriend." _His beautiful cheekbones turned pink and looked like two peaches that I just wanted to kiss and I did. I kissed his cheekbones, his nose, his forehead, and his lips._

"You are fucking sweet." _He said hiding his head in the crook of my neck._

"I guess that happens when you are in love with someone." _He raised his head looking at me._

"I love you Chanhee."

"I love you Changmin."

"Oh My Goodness, I recorded it all! Ji Changmin being a cheesy shit will be my new livelihood."

"Kevin Moon just starting to run for your life because today you aren't coming home alive."

_I ran after Kevin while he hiding behind his boyfriend. I could hear Chanhee laugh as he hugged me to stop me from killing my friend. I was happy, everything was so sudden that I couldn't believe that the boy who spent weeks in my head really felt the same for me, in the end all the steps were completed but the effect always occurred on me. Because... who would think that a stupid 5 steps plan to fall in love would really work?_

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the writing sucks i only checked it once when i have time i will improve it anyway im done, i honestly didn't think anyone would read this, i mean, it's nothing to write home about but i had fun writing it, but it has already come to an end. i want to know... what do u think... idk everything is welcome .
> 
> soon i will post something so different from what i usually write and im already working for another series nyukyu sorry i never have enough of them two bye

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know what this is honestly... I just said mmmh I want to write something and here it is? I don't write in the first person?, ever, so this is quite new to me, the point of view of the character... but I hope I have done well. idk how many chapters this will have but considering that it is a "test" for me as a writer I suppose it will be short, anyway I hope you enjoy this short serie! :)


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